Reincarnation as an inanimate object

Andy Warhol wrote, "It would be very glamorous to be reincarnated as a great big ring on Liz Taylor's finger."

I wonder if Liz ever, very covertly, looks down at her rings and whispers, "Andy? Is that you?"

Weeping for the Silent Film Era

It started with my sister informing me that she was going to see a movie directed by her friend's older brother. She said the name of the film was Cannibal, and I did not join her for the screening because I have an aversion to cannibalism. Yes, most people also share this aversion, but some can possibly tolerate it better than others. I decided to look the movie up on the Internet Movie Database; I did not find it.

Instead IMDB took my brain on a little ride. It suggested the 1918 short documentary film An Ex-Cannibal Carnival as a possible option. I liked this title, and I soon found that director/producer C.L. Chester had a number of interesting titles in his filmography. Favorite titles include: There Is No Santa Clause (1920), Getting Gay with Neptune, (1919) Maid, Mermaids and More Maids (1919), and Up in the Air After Alligators (1919). Who was this C.L. Chester fellow*? The internet has offered me little information, except that his main claim to fame seems to have been a series of short films featuring a monkey named Snooky. I was unable to find even the monkey pictures, so I have little hope that I will ever get to see those reformed cannibals moving on with their lives via a carnival act. Is nothing sacred?

*When referring to a figure from the earlier part of last century, it seems hardly fitting to call him a guy.

Making him work for it...

There is plenty of evidence for some strong feminist eyebrow-raising when it comes to Disney princesses. It's pretty easy to find articles on how the princesses are terrible role models (Ex: feminist critique of Disney princesses). Even so, there is an undeniable appeal. I mean, who doesn't want great hair, a lovely singing voice, and woodland creatures to do one's bidding? I don't think most of the princesses' critics are even denying that it would be cool if a mouse helped with laundry.

The problem is the Disney prince. He gets to save the day. You're following the story of this princess, and the she gets taken out by the villain at the last minute so that the prince can step in. This rarely happens to men, but when it does? They tend to just see it as a lucky break or an "I owe you one" deal. Pulp Fiction comes to mind. Ving Rhames's character is trying to kill Bruce Willis's character, but he ends up getting captured by some racist, sadomasochistic weirdos. This could have just been a lucky break for Bruce, but he goes ahead and saves Ving Rhames, who is then able to confront his captors and make the promise to "go medieval" on their asses. Everyone wins. Maybe the Disney princes should take this lesson into consideration; it is rude not to let a victim have revenge, thus relieving him or her of victim status. I think Snow White could've really sold a line like, "Bitch, killing me won't make your ass any less ugly."

Notice that I don't advise completely taking away the prince's role in the saving of the day. I like to think that, to some extent, the princesses are just making him work for it. How much do you really like me? In reality, there are very few cool ways to prove how into someone you are. It's hard to find ways to literally be a hero. There are very few opportunities for epic battles against evil as a way to prove one's love. I'm not sure I really want to be with someone who wouldn't go through the effort to undo spells or fight dragons. What's he going to do when my car breaks down four hours from home? Is he going to drive the four hours? Because that's what a hero would do. Say what you want about the Disney princes, but none of them would be like, "Can't you call a tow truck and a cab? Yeah, I know it would be expensive, but the game is on!"

Why is it that humans have yet to master relationship skills? Why is it so ridiculously difficult? Amazon has 295,005 books on dating and none of them sound that helpful. The titles sound kind of frightening, actually:

Make Every Man Want You: How to Be So Irresistible You'll Barely Keep from Dating Yourself! by Marie Forleo

Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Catching a Man by Steve Nakamoto

Man Magnet: How to Be the Best Woman You Can Be in Order to Get the Best Man by Romy Miller

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov

How to be a Super Hot Woman: 339 Tips to Make Every Man Fall in Love with You and Every Woman Envy You by Mandy Simons and Emily J. Terry

I want to write a book like, "How to be a Normal, Sane Person in the Insane World of Dating: Tips for Men and Women." I might read that. That sounds less aggressive and terrifying. Of course, I would have to figure out what those tips are exactly and make sure that they work. That's unlikely since I still get tripped up over "Chapter One: Establish mutual interest."

doublethink

My bookshelf is overrun with books, and many of them have never been read. A relatively small percentage of the books have been read about 30% of the way through them. This is because I get off track. I pick up a new book without finishing the other one first. This might be fine, but I cannot read two books at once without some rather unfortunate plot blending. Recently I realized that I have not been a very good reader, so I am working on it.

Right now I am almost halfway through George Orwell's 1984. I purchased this book a few years ago, I believe. I don't remember the exact circumstances surrounding the purchase. I vaguely recall thinking that it was a shame that I made it through high school and college without ever reading it. It stayed on my bookshelf with the other candidates until it came to my attention again. Sometime last month I decided to write my own 1984-like story based on the current political climate. I began writing notes and key phrases for the story in a little notebook. It soon occurred to me that I should probably read the source material. 1.) I like to give credit where credit is due, and 2.) I did not want to accidentally steal ideas from Orwell which may have made their way into the public consciousness (and therefore into my consciousness).

I'm quite engrossed in this novel. My dreams of late have even been tinged with a Big Brother vibe. It's strange how I have been able to keep on track with this book--so far, anyway--when plenty of other worthy books sit on my shelves unread or one-third read. As a kid, I loved to read. I read with a competitive desire to be The Best Reader. (In third grade, I did receive multiple trophies from the school librarian.) I still love books and reading, but I haven't made it a priority in recent years. I have amassed a pretty nice book collection, I claim to love reading, yet I do not spend much time reading. I love to read, but I do not read. Perhaps this is one reason why 1984 is speaking to me; I engage in doublethink.

What would my alias be? Should really plan ahead for such things.

I wonder when I will be able to get it all together instead of just some of it. I feel too tired to even try to engage with anyone.